If only we had a magic wand or crystal ball so we can see what the problem is! We would know what to do then wouldn’t we?
A child’s fears can have a massive impact upon their behaviour. Some fears are consciously recognised by the child (wasps, strangers, dogs etc) however very often the fears are held unconsciously, the child themselves cannot comprehend nor verbalise how they feel; these unconscious fears are founded from our primal hard wiring – the need to survive! Our mind’s primitive survival kit ensures we all look approval, love and acceptance. As a child, trying to gain evidence to prove we are acceptable, lovable and approved of, it is really hard work. Sometimes our young brains miscalculate a situation, sometimes our parents or a teacher can miscalculate a situation and the result can be that our emotional needs are not met, or worse, we form a belief that we are not lovable or acceptable. This belief results in fear of not surviving and our brain goes into survival mode. A child may become angry, aggressive or quiet and withdrawn in order to survive.
Having been a parent to a 7 year old who suffered terribly from bullying and other things (and did so for years after) I can really identify with pain felt by parents who want to help their children and just don’t know how! I know we can blame ourselves and spend time worrying about what we have done or haven’t done! And it can be agonising at times!
The good news is that your child knows what the underlying problem is…. it’s just that they can’t convey it. Ollie coaching is a fantastic tool for helping the kids to
1. discover what is it they are feeling about issues
2. change the way they feel about their issues
3. change they way feel about themselves
Simply put… the kids know what their problem is, they simply don’t know how to recognise it or share it with you, their parents. So, it is completely possible to change your child’s life in just a few sessions and I really wished I knew then what I know now so I could saved my young son suffering so much.