Why just manage anger when you can make permanent cognitive changes so you don't feel angry in the first place?
In my opinion, managing anger is not our end goal. I help my clients make changes in the brain so they do not feel angry, aggressive or fly into a rage, in other words there will be no misplaced anger in the first place.
How does your anger manifest?
Anger has various ways of manifesting. You may find yourself fuming quietly, you may be the kind of person that shows rage to others or you may be passively aggressive. You may be unhappy with so many things in your life and your anger shows as constant blame and criticism. Which ever way your anger manifests I can help you to feel completely different
Why so angry?
As we go through our lives we form limiting beliefs about ourselves (‘I am a failure’, ‘I am not worthy’, ‘I am stupid’, ‘I am not lovable’ and others) . These beliefs may not be fact, but our mind accepts them as true simply because our cognition is limited as young children. Before the age of 7 our minds process incoming information in a nominal sense meaning we think only in terms of it’s good OR bad, right OR wrong, OK or not OK. Reasoning and rationalizing is limited and inaccurate which means our minds are likely to miscalculate information, and because we are hard wired to be fearful or wary, the mind will err on the side of caution and process events as a threat even if they are not. So when your Mum shouts at you in front of your friends your mind may formulate the belief ‘I am not lovable’, or your teacher belittles you in front of your peers, your mind may formulate the belief ‘I am stupid’. These aren’t true of course but your mind believes it to be so. Our mind also is hard wired to operate on a ‘I must be approved of’ level in order to survive so when we experience things that alert us that we are not approved of or remind us of our limiting belief then we go into survival mode, into defence and we use anger in order to do that.
Make permanent changes in your mind
Cognitive Hypnotherapy is based on modern neuroscience and works from a modern understanding of the mind and of the mind-body connection.
I also use insights from a range of psychological and therapeutic disciplines, including NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), Gestalt and Positive Psychology. Permanent changes can be made and in a relatively short period of time (around 6 sessions on average).
I will use the best techniques available to help you to rid yourself of your limiting beliefs. I will help you to literally change your mind so you think, feel and behave how you really want to. I will teach you techniques you can use to promote positive feelings and thoughts. I will teach you self hypnosis and will record an MP3 download for you to listen to in between sessions which will speed up the process. All you need to do is to work with me and allow me to guide you through the process
John's marriage was at risk because of his frequent his temper out bursts
7 year old John was desperate to join his friends, ‘the gang’, in the village he lived in. Every Sunday, the boys would get on their bikes and head out into surrounding area and build dens, play games, climb trees and so much more. But John’s dad stopped John from joining in; John’s dad made John mow their vast lawn every Sunday. John negotiated, pleaded, bargained and begged but his authoritarian Father wouldn’t listen to John’s desperate pleas. John was distraught! His mind erroneously evaluates ‘ I am not worthy’. Fast forward to decades later and John mind pattern matches to incidents that feel like that first significant event. He doesn’t recognise this consciously of course, however John’s mind just processes some events, comments and behaviours as a threat because they seem to promote the ‘I am not worthy’ belief. John feels grumpy, angry and even rage a lot of the time. John drinks to self sooth, he feels better after a drink or two so he drinks more often to feel better. This is short lived and the endorphin hit he seeks means he has drink more and more to feel a bit better.
John came to see me after he felt his marriage had almost hit rock bottom. Within 3 sessions John began to notice the difference within himself. Not getting frustrated and annoyed at things like the printer not working, not getting through to the right department on a phone call and not being angry at ‘inconsiderate drivers’. A few sessions later John reported that his wife was noticing the difference in him and he was really surprised when he realised he was naturally drinking less. A lot less. Overall relations improved, not just with his wife but also with other family members, his clear thinking returned and he only drinks socially rather than habitually.
Jack was angry at everything and everybody
After Jack smashed his knuckles on an innocent bus stop he realised his temper was unjustified and his reaction over the top. He came to see me because he was genuinely unhappy at being angry and aggressive most days. He and he girlfriend were on another ‘break’ because of Jack’s temper and consequent behaviour.
Jack was just 5 years old when the teacher forbid him leave to go to the toilet on a field trip. the inevitable happened and Jack wet himself. His peers laughed and taunted him, his teacher scolded him (even though it was really the teacher who made this situation) and Jack’s mind became angry at every situation he felt he no control over ever since. Jack’s mind emotionally hi jacked him every time he felt disrespected and dis-empowered.
In just a few sessions we re framed the way Jack held the memory of the significant event, created new neural pathways, new beliefs and Jack soon found himself more at ease with life in general. No more punching bus stops.