When your child displays anger

The Anger Iceberg

Did you know that anger is a secondary emotion? When we display anger it is usually because we feel other emotions (primary emotions) which we often fail to recognise and acknowledge. The Ollie and His Superpowers approach is an effective, fun and speedy way to diffuse anger and discover the emotions that lie beneath.

Here’s my tip for diffusing anger and growing happy…

  1. Pretend that can see your child’s ‘Angry’ Superpower
  2. Take him/her (the Superpower) from some where from your child’s body; I suggest from the tummy, chest or head (as that is usually where most of us ‘feel’ the anger!
  3. Pop your child’s ‘Angry’ Superpower in your hand and speak to it in a gentle tone (look into your hand as you start to talk) “hello Angry”.I am surprised to see you today”…
  4. Imagine the Superpower has jumped out of your hand and gotten larger (as your child is so angry. Look surprised and say something like “wow! Angry… you are sooooo big! xxxx(child’s name) must be feeliing sooooo angry. I wonder why that is ?
  5. Your child may tell you why angry is so big (“my sister took my crayons…”) which if they do, ask your child to help shrink anger to a much smaller size until ‘angry’ sits in your (or your child’s hand).
  6. Say “phew, that’s better! …now let’s see, what Superpower do we need to help us feel better and get this sorted? Your child will say “happy” or “calm”. Keep encouraging your child until he/she comes up with one or more positive Superpowers.
  7. Get your child (with your guidance) to grow the positive Superpowers until it/they are really big. You now can get a positive Superpower to help make ‘Angry’ disappear for example ,’Calm takes Angry to the child’s foot or maybe lock ‘Angry’ in a drawer or perhaps throw ‘Angry’ in the bin.
  8. Now your child feels better and is engaged with you, you can get your child’s ‘Clever’ Superpower to work out what to do
    about the original issues. “we could put my crayons in a place where my sister can’t reach”….

Please do let me know how you are getting on using Superpowers! Click here to email me

Barbara

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